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This blog title was the name of a 1960s hit by The Who. It is also the key to using social media without turning into a boor. Let me, um, explain...
Say someone posts something. Someone else doesn't like it - and posts a comment saying so. Then the first person responds by explaining their position. The second person still doesn't like it. Invariably the first person usually keeps explaining, and explaining, and explaining some more.
Does it work? Never.
When people don't agree with you, online or in the real world, you can't explain. At least at first. If someone doesn't like your political position, explaining it further will not change their mind. If what you posted offended someone, explaining it will only make you sound defensive. And if someone is ranting, explaining your rational position usually leads to more ranting.
If you want to see an example of this in action, look no further than the comments section of just about any online news story. Some troll posts something that annoys people, someone else takes offense and responds, the troll responds with more trollishness, and they go back and forth at it until everyone is exhausted and gives up. Does anyone ever "see the light" in these discussions? Nope.
So how can you respond to someone else's negativity online? You really only have three choices:
1) Apologize. Apologizing when you offend someone does not diminish you. It enhances you. Unfortunately, most people react the opposite way because they do not get this.
2) Own your truth. If you firmly believe what you write, and someone else disagrees with you, don't try to convince them they are wrong – convince them how firmly you believe in yourself. There is all the difference in the world between "Here are X reasons why I am correct" versus "I respect your view. I see why you feel that way. And I have a different view."
3) Walk away. For example, lots of people post reviews of my books in places like Amazon.com. Most of them are just ducky. Recently, one wasn't very complimentary at all. My response? No response. First, I respect whatever the marketplace thinks of my wares – but more important, nothing I could possibly say would matter. So often, the best answer of all is the lack of one.
All of these revolve around the subtle difference between engaging people versus defending yourself. One approach works and the other doesn't. If you feel differently, you would have to somehow explain it to me. No, wait, scratch that.
24 Şubat 2013 Pazar
Feel the fear and don't do it anyway
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Hi there, all you people who write motivational articles about how to "go for it," "feel the fear and do it anyway," and "get out of your comfort zone." I really appreciate what you are trying to accomplish with these articles.
Now, respectfully, could you all please knock it off?
Over the last two and a half years, I have done a lot of work with people with anxiety disorders. These are not people with quote-unquote too much stress, but rather people who suffer from issues like fears, phobias, and compulsions. They can't board airplanes, drive over bridges, or stop washing their hands 50 times a day. And whether you know it or not, articles like yours are part of their problem.
Since early 2009 I have been running a group program called "Anxiety Camp," and to a man or woman, its participants all tell me the same thing: well-meaning friends and relatives have always pushed them to engage in "Nike therapy" about their fears (e.g. just do it). The results are always the same. At best they suck it up, muddle through fearful situations, and then feel no better the next time they face them. More often they freak out, have setbacks, and end up worse off than where they started. And then everyone assumes that the sufferer simply isn't trying hard enough.
In reality, trying hard *is* the problem. It goes against your neurobiology. Being afraid is a survival instinct that protects us, and when we try to short-circuit that instinct, our subconscious pushes back - hard. So how do you get well from anxiety disorders? In tiny baby steps. While paying a lot of attention to what you tell yourself. That way, you start re-programming your circuits about what is frightening to you, as you gradually expand your comfort zone.
You see, the suck-it-up types want you to face your fears by gritting your teeth, putting your head down, and enduring situations. At best, doing this simply distracts you and teaches you nothing. At worst, it sensitizes you to situations you really want to become *de*-sensitized to. I want you to learn to become fully present in feared situations. And that almost always requires experiencing them gradually.
To be fair, I do understand the value of these motivational articles. Sometimes people decide to make brave, fundamental moves that change their lives. They choose to take control instead of take cover. And sometimes it works. For example, the day I leaped without a net from corporate life into self-employment will always rank up there as one of the most life-affirming things I've ever done.
But that is not the same as dealing with the fears that, statistically, one in five of us struggle with. And when fearful people read these articles - or worse, are handed them by well-meaning others - they become disheartened. And worst of all, don't realize that from a clinical standpoint, these words are often leading them toward illness and not wellness.
Conversely, when people start taking tiny baby steps from within their comfort zone, magic often starts to happen. I've watched this happen over and over. Anxiety scores drop, limits start disappearing, and people develop a renewed sense of faith in themselves. So if you're fearful, remember: learn all you can about your fears. Take things one small step at a time. And stay far away from motivational speakers.
Now, respectfully, could you all please knock it off?
Over the last two and a half years, I have done a lot of work with people with anxiety disorders. These are not people with quote-unquote too much stress, but rather people who suffer from issues like fears, phobias, and compulsions. They can't board airplanes, drive over bridges, or stop washing their hands 50 times a day. And whether you know it or not, articles like yours are part of their problem.
Since early 2009 I have been running a group program called "Anxiety Camp," and to a man or woman, its participants all tell me the same thing: well-meaning friends and relatives have always pushed them to engage in "Nike therapy" about their fears (e.g. just do it). The results are always the same. At best they suck it up, muddle through fearful situations, and then feel no better the next time they face them. More often they freak out, have setbacks, and end up worse off than where they started. And then everyone assumes that the sufferer simply isn't trying hard enough.
In reality, trying hard *is* the problem. It goes against your neurobiology. Being afraid is a survival instinct that protects us, and when we try to short-circuit that instinct, our subconscious pushes back - hard. So how do you get well from anxiety disorders? In tiny baby steps. While paying a lot of attention to what you tell yourself. That way, you start re-programming your circuits about what is frightening to you, as you gradually expand your comfort zone.
You see, the suck-it-up types want you to face your fears by gritting your teeth, putting your head down, and enduring situations. At best, doing this simply distracts you and teaches you nothing. At worst, it sensitizes you to situations you really want to become *de*-sensitized to. I want you to learn to become fully present in feared situations. And that almost always requires experiencing them gradually.
To be fair, I do understand the value of these motivational articles. Sometimes people decide to make brave, fundamental moves that change their lives. They choose to take control instead of take cover. And sometimes it works. For example, the day I leaped without a net from corporate life into self-employment will always rank up there as one of the most life-affirming things I've ever done.
But that is not the same as dealing with the fears that, statistically, one in five of us struggle with. And when fearful people read these articles - or worse, are handed them by well-meaning others - they become disheartened. And worst of all, don't realize that from a clinical standpoint, these words are often leading them toward illness and not wellness.
Conversely, when people start taking tiny baby steps from within their comfort zone, magic often starts to happen. I've watched this happen over and over. Anxiety scores drop, limits start disappearing, and people develop a renewed sense of faith in themselves. So if you're fearful, remember: learn all you can about your fears. Take things one small step at a time. And stay far away from motivational speakers.
Too Big to Listen: A "Brief" Course in Corporate Communications
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One thing never ceases to amaze me: bigcompanies whose responses to customers sound like they were written by robots.
Here is a recent example. At the risk of TMI, I recentlywrote to one of my favorite big-box department stores about their men'sunderwear - or lack thereof. Here is what I wrote:
"I'll be brief - no pun intended.
My note was short, to the point, well researched, and even alittle humorous. It was not the least bit impolite. I even avoided thetechnically accurate groaner of signing off with my work address of BriefTherapy Associates (where I do actually practice as a therapist).
So here is the gist of their response -- with my thoughts in bold:
"Dear Richard,
We are continually looking for ways to best meet the needsof all customers and in turn, improve customer convenience.(I am writing aboutsomething you do poorly -- and often -- and you respond by telling mehow you are always busy improving? Methinks you've been looking under the wrongrock.)
Therefore, your feedback is very important and will be takenunder consideration for any of our future buying decisions. We apologize forany inconvenience our current selection may have caused. We appreciate the timeyou took to contact us and look forward to serving you again at (insert name ofbig box store again).(So my request hasbeen put on the suggestion pile. Whoop-de-doo. I am thrilled, I tell you,thrilled.)
So how should people react to this? Well, picture this. Amother catches her son with his hand in the cookie jar. He responds, "Mygoal is to only eat cookies at the appropriate times. I am always looking forways to improve our supply of cookies as well as my dental health. Thereforeyour feedback is very important, and I will take it under consideration."Think this would work?
This is why the average six year old is smarter -- in fact,much smarter -- than the average big-box retailer. Meanwhile some corporateweenie is actually drawing a paycheck for penning words like these, fortheir customer service departments to cut-and-paste, thinking they willactually help.
Here is the response I was really thinking about: "HeyRich. Sorry about that. We really should do a better job of stocking men'sunderwear. It's a hassle going all the way to a store and not finding somethingthat basic in stock. We'll let you know when we fix this. Meanwhile, here's afive buck discount for your trouble. Thanks!" Now, would that be so hard?
One thing never ceases to amaze me: bigcompanies whose responses to customers sound like they were written by robots.
Here is a recent example. At the risk of TMI, I recentlywrote to one of my favorite big-box department stores about their men'sunderwear - or lack thereof. Here is what I wrote:
"I'll be brief - no pun intended.
My note was short, to the point, well researched, and even alittle humorous. It was not the least bit impolite. I even avoided thetechnically accurate groaner of signing off with my work address of BriefTherapy Associates (where I do actually practice as a therapist).
So here is the gist of their response -- with my thoughts in bold:
"Dear Richard,
We are continually looking for ways to best meet the needsof all customers and in turn, improve customer convenience.(I am writing aboutsomething you do poorly -- and often -- and you respond by telling mehow you are always busy improving? Methinks you've been looking under the wrongrock.)
Therefore, your feedback is very important and will be takenunder consideration for any of our future buying decisions. We apologize forany inconvenience our current selection may have caused. We appreciate the timeyou took to contact us and look forward to serving you again at (insert name ofbig box store again).(So my request hasbeen put on the suggestion pile. Whoop-de-doo. I am thrilled, I tell you,thrilled.)
So how should people react to this? Well, picture this. Amother catches her son with his hand in the cookie jar. He responds, "Mygoal is to only eat cookies at the appropriate times. I am always looking forways to improve our supply of cookies as well as my dental health. Thereforeyour feedback is very important, and I will take it under consideration."Think this would work?
This is why the average six year old is smarter -- in fact,much smarter -- than the average big-box retailer. Meanwhile some corporateweenie is actually drawing a paycheck for penning words like these, fortheir customer service departments to cut-and-paste, thinking they willactually help.
Here is the response I was really thinking about: "HeyRich. Sorry about that. We really should do a better job of stocking men'sunderwear. It's a hassle going all the way to a store and not finding somethingthat basic in stock. We'll let you know when we fix this. Meanwhile, here's afive buck discount for your trouble. Thanks!" Now, would that be so hard?
23 Şubat 2013 Cumartesi
National Oilwell Varco's (NOV) Mission Statement
To contact us Click HERE
National Oilwell Varco utilized a Shared Values Statement.
Integrity: We say what we mean, our actions reflect our words, and we honor our commitments.
Customer Focus: Our customers are our number one priority and we consistently meet or exceed their expectations.
Enthusiasm: We are passionate about our work and take pride in designing quality into the products, services and solutions that we provide.
Stakeholder Value Creation: We employ creativity and initiative in the creation of stakeholder value and are recognized and rewarded for it.
Performance Drives Results: We create our future through our choices and actions today.
Teamwork: We collaborate with our suppliers, our customers and each other to optimize the sum of all individual efforts.
Citizenship: We honor the culture and laws of all areas in which we participate and demonstrate respect for all.
Source: NatOil.com
Tags: National Oilwell Varco, NOV, Mission Statement, Mission Statements, Values
Integrity: We say what we mean, our actions reflect our words, and we honor our commitments.
Customer Focus: Our customers are our number one priority and we consistently meet or exceed their expectations.
Enthusiasm: We are passionate about our work and take pride in designing quality into the products, services and solutions that we provide.
Stakeholder Value Creation: We employ creativity and initiative in the creation of stakeholder value and are recognized and rewarded for it.
Performance Drives Results: We create our future through our choices and actions today.
Teamwork: We collaborate with our suppliers, our customers and each other to optimize the sum of all individual efforts.
Citizenship: We honor the culture and laws of all areas in which we participate and demonstrate respect for all.
Source: NatOil.com
Tags: National Oilwell Varco, NOV, Mission Statement, Mission Statements, Values
Smith International's (SII) Mission Statement
To contact us Click HERE
MISSION
Our people and technology make us a world leader in drilling tools and services. We work together to constantly improve customer satisfaction, employee opportunity and shareholder value.
PHILOSOPHY
Committing ourselves to integrity, we will:
Source: Smith International
Tags: Smith International, SII, Mission Statement, Mission Statements, Values
Our people and technology make us a world leader in drilling tools and services. We work together to constantly improve customer satisfaction, employee opportunity and shareholder value.
PHILOSOPHY
Committing ourselves to integrity, we will:
- Earn the respect, confidence and loyalty of OUR CUSTOMERS by serving them so well that they profit from their association with us.
- Provide OUR PEOPLE the highest degree of challenge and opportunity so they can realize their ambitions in terms of career, rewards and family security.
- Fulfill our obligations to OUR INVESTORS to such an extent that they are both proud and eager to share in our enterprise. Be fair to OUR SUPPLIERS and encourage their contributions to our success.
- Not malign OUR COMPETITORS and gain their respect through our ethical practices. Be good citizens of OUR COMMUNITIES and OUR COUNTRIES.
Source: Smith International
Tags: Smith International, SII, Mission Statement, Mission Statements, Values
Publix's Mission Statement
To contact us Click HERE
Our Mission at Publix is to be the premier quality food retailer in the world.To that end we commit to be:
Source: Publix.com
Tags: Publix, Mission Statement, Mission Statements
- Passionately focused on Customer Value,
- Intolerant of Waste,
- Dedicated to the Dignity, Value and Employment Security of our Associates,
- Devoted to the highest standards of stewardship for our Stockholders, and
- Involved as Responsible Citizens in our Communities.
Source: Publix.com
Tags: Publix, Mission Statement, Mission Statements
Franklin Resources' (BEN) Mission Statement
To contact us Click HERE
Our mission is to be the premier global investment management organization. Guided by our core values and unique perspective, we achieve this mission by offering high quality investment solutions, providing outstanding service and attracting, motivating and retaining talented people.
Our core values reflect what is most important to us as a company.
1. Put clients first. We strive to know and meet our clients' needs, and we fully accept our fiduciary responsibility to protect shareholders' interests.
2. Build relationships. We work to establish enduring relationships with our clients and business partners. We value collaboration and cooperation in our workplaces.
3. Achieve quality results. We value professional excellence and expertise, and we work together to produce consistent, competitive results for our clients.
4. Work with integrity. We speak and act in an honest manner. We believe in being accountable for the impact we have on others.
Source: Franklin Templeton Investments
Tags: Frankline Templeton Investments, BEN, Mission Statement, Mission Statements
Our core values reflect what is most important to us as a company.
1. Put clients first. We strive to know and meet our clients' needs, and we fully accept our fiduciary responsibility to protect shareholders' interests.
2. Build relationships. We work to establish enduring relationships with our clients and business partners. We value collaboration and cooperation in our workplaces.
3. Achieve quality results. We value professional excellence and expertise, and we work together to produce consistent, competitive results for our clients.
4. Work with integrity. We speak and act in an honest manner. We believe in being accountable for the impact we have on others.
Source: Franklin Templeton Investments
Tags: Frankline Templeton Investments, BEN, Mission Statement, Mission Statements
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