Raisin consciousness

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I was talking back to a box of raisins this morning atbreakfast.

No, don't go packing me off to a therapist yet (never mindthat I *am* a therapist). These raisins and I have had a relationship goingback for years. In fact, I blogged about it previously. For years, Sun-MaidRaisins has put motivational or inspirational sayings on the flaps of theirlittle raisin boxes. Usually good advice about things like smiling more often,or the occasional raisin-centric plug. For a long time, I've enjoyed startingmy day seeing what the raisins have to tell me.
I wasn't too happy with the raisins today, however. Andthere is a good life lesson on communication here that is worth sharing withall of you: when you cross the line from being supportive to telling peoplewhat to do, you start getting yourself in trouble.
Today, the raisin box said, "Pick up what you trippedover, so no one else does!" Including the exclamation point. My first reaction? I don't take orders from abox of raisins. And I certainly didn't ask them to be my mother. Their job is(a) to get sprinkled on my oatmeal and eaten, and (b) perhaps to make me smile and feel good. Anything else is shoving their oar in, even if theyare a bunch of dried grapes.
A little later, I sat down and examined this reaction. Afterall, I am one of the most responsible people I know. I'm a mature adultapproaching retirement age. I probably would pick up something I tripped over.So if this bothered *me*, how would other people react?
And that is exactly my point. Too many of us - including mesometimes - act like the raisins. We try to correct people. We try to"help" them. We give them advice. We show them the error of theirways. And then we wonder why they never listen to us.
I know the raisins mean well. But in my view, there is only one truly effectiveway of motivating people: Listen to them. "Get" them. Cheer them on.Understand and empathize with their struggles. And then, if you absolutely mustgive them advice, do it gently as an equal. Whether you are a person or a boxof dried fruit.